3 Best Things You Must Do If You Want to Succeed in Anything

There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.” – Christopher Morley

3 fingers

 (Photo: Mutiara Karina)

Over the years I have spent a lot of time learning and thinking about why certain people succeed or become wealthy while others do not. Why do some reach their goals while others continue to struggle year after year? Why do some people climb to great heights while others quit or resort to mediocrity? After all my success, and many, many failures, I have summarized the 3 most important things I learned, mostly through trial and error.

So, if you want to become wealthy, be great with the opposite sex, lose weight, start a business, find your ideal mate or anything else you dream of, these are the 3 most important things I believe you must do if you want to succeed. Doing these things will help you reach your goal easier, quicker and with a lot less friction. So let’s get started: 

  1. Clearly Define What You Want.

Why this is important:

Most people never reach their goals because they don’t even know what it is they are after. A phrase like “I want to be rich” is too vague and meaningless, if you don’t clearly define it.

Life is a journey, you need to have a plan to go from here to somewhere else. Unless you know where that somewhere else is you will never reach it. When a pilot leaves JFK to fly to Heathrow he knows the exact coordinates of his destination.. He has a flight plan. No pilot ever flew out of NY trying to get to London with the vague idea that it’s somewhere East. By defining what you really want, it will help your conscious and subconscious to put a target on it and work towards it.

What to do:

Whatever it is your want, define it in the most specific ways that you can. The more detailed the better.

If you want to find an ideal soul mate, write out all the ideal traits you would want this person to have, write out how this person would react to you and how your life together would be. If you want to be wealthy write out exactly what that means. What are your possessions, how much money do you have in the bank what does your house look like.

Regardless of your dream, write out your ideal day. You wake up and open your eyes, what do you see? Who is next to you? Where are you living? What do you do next? How do you spend your day? Who are you with? What do you accomplish, what do you do in the evening? Write out in as much detail as you can. Spend at least an hour doing this. Now think about this every day before you go to sleep and when you wake up. At least once a week reread or edit what you have written.

  1. Remove any subconscious obstacles you have.

Why this is important:

If you put a gun to my head and said what is the one tip you can give me for becoming great, this would be it. Everything else is almost irrelevant. It’s only second chronologically; but it’s the most important obstacle to overcome.

Majority of the people never reach their goals because they are torn about actually getting it. They have two forces within them, a conscious one which wants them to succeed and another, their subconscious,which can prevent them from reaching their goals. This is the biggest obstacle that stands in your way. If you can take care of this one issue, you will succeed. If you do not, you will never succeed.

Your brain will keep you from becoming something that you hate. If you want to be rich, but on some level you believe that rich people are stuck up, or that they are evil or that they use people, then it will be extremely difficult for you to actually become wealthy.

If you want to be great with women but you look back at your high school or college days and believe that all the guys who were great with women where dumb A-holes then it will be extremely difficult for you to become great with women. If you want to be great with men but believe only fake, superficial bimbos are great with men, that will be a problem. Because you can’t become something you hate.

As a matter a fact, if you are struggling with money or do not have an abundance with the opposite sex, I can almost guarantee that you, at least on some level, have those beliefs.

You can read all the books about wealth or being social that you want, but unless you take care of this one huge roadblock you will just be spinning your wheels.

What to do:

Be as honest as possible. Write down all the negative beliefs you have about whatever it is you want and then tackle each belief through affirmations. The formula for this is very simple. Start with your belief then write out the complete opposite. So if your belief is “I think rich people are stuck up” your affirmation is “I believe rich people are giving and friendly” If you believe that “Guys who are great with women are brainless jocks” your affirmation is “Guys who are great with women are fun, thoughtful and caring”.

Then add affirmations that remove your particular road blocks about whatever it is you want. I call it “Blessing the thing you want”. You are thankful for the fact that others have what you want. For example, if you want to have a great social life you can write out “I love that there are guys who have abundance with women”. If you are lonely and want an ideal partner write out “I am happy that there are so many great couples who love each other”.

Pick one affirmation and write out 2 pages of it each day. Do the same affirmation or pick a new one whichever one speaks to you the most that day. And do this habitually and consistently every day.

  1. Quantify.

Why this is important:

You need to see the progress you are making in order to stay motivated and see what changes need to be made.

What to do:

Pick your goal and clearly measure your success (or failure) on a regular basis. Say your goal is to lose 50 pounds and you would like to lose 4 pounds a week. Take your goal and divide it by 2. Change losing 4 pounds a week to only 2 pounds a week. This is important because seeing slow progress is a lot more motivating than swinging for the fences and striking out. In the long run the difference between losing your weight in 4 months or 8 months will not be important but being frustrated and quitting after a month because you are not meeting your goals will surely derail you.

Now measure your progress on a regular basis to see if you are moving towards your goal or away from it. But remember as with any goal in life the progress is never linear. Sometimes it’s 2 steps forward 1 step back. Keep moving forward and you will succeed.

That’s it. The 3 most important things you need to help you reach any goal you desire. Give it a try and let me know how it works out.

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101 Tips on Becoming Great

“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.” – Muhammad Ali  

if you want to become great

(Photo: *Eddie)

Ever since I got out of high school I have been keeping track of anything I come across which I think could benefit me. Whether it is a saying, an insight, or a different way of viewing the world, I was looking for anything which might help me to become better. Over the years, I have accumulated notebooks and spreadsheets full of things categorized by different topics. I want to share as much as I can with you.

Many of these tips are things I figured out on my own, a lot are quotes and ideas I came across over years of reading, listening and thinking. I tried to give credit where credit is due, but many ideas are without attribution only because I did not write them down at the time and came back to them after some reflection.

I hope one or two ideas might change the way you view the world and your life and I hope that there is something in my writings which will help you become the best you.


 

1) To reach greatness I must let the Universe lead me to it, not me or my ego


 

2) “As long as you live keep learning how to live” – Seneca


 

3) “Dare to Be Naive” – Buckminster Fuller on becoming wise


 

4) “Courage is a muscle that can be built up” – Theodore Roosevelt


 

5) After success is the most dangerous time, because it allows you to rest and to believe that the formula is correct. It might not be. Always be willing to start from scratch after every success.


 

6) All the fears and challenges are not with anything in the world, they are inside of me. If I can battle them and win, my success will follow.


 

7) Always act confident and confidence will come.


 

8) Always be a graceful loser, people remember it.


 

9) Always be free to reinvent yourself.


 

10) Always give a positive label to whatever I am doing.


 

11) Always pretend that I am 7 and I don’t have to go to school even though it’s a school day. What would I do today? This creates more creativity and better thinking.


 

12) Always welcome change.


 

13) Anything I don’t fully enjoy I will never be great at.


 

14) Avoid extreme ideology.


 

15) Avoid people who use the word “Should”. Such as “The world Should be a certain way”. They are not mature and do not accept life and its circumstances.


 

16) Be an Artist. Create something even if it’s not very good.


 

17) Be aware of same race bias. We are more likely to believe someone of the same race regardless of the facts.


 

18) Be comfortable being uncomfortable.


 

19) Be comfortable in not knowing what will happen next.


 

20) Be open to anything, don’t dismiss any new idea right away.


 

21) Be patient. Anything that I want and don’t yet have is due to me not accepting it in my subconscious yet.


 

22) Before attempting something write down all the excuses I can come up with and then write down why those excuses are bullshit.


 

23) Big people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about people.


 

24) “Biggest hinderance to reach greatness is ego sensitivity to finding out if you are right or wrong and identifying ones strengths and weaknesses” – Ray Dalio


 

25) Champions are made when nobody is watching.


 

26) Confidence comes from doing things that go against the grain of society and being comfortable with it. Break out of the “This is what is expected” routine.


 

27) Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyways.


 

28) Don’t be realistic – dream the crazy dreams.


 

29) Don’t avoid things I fear. Admit it and take steps.


 

30) Don’t focus on things I can’t change.


 

31) Don’t mistake my traits for who I am. I am a fluid entity, be willing to change.


 

32) Don’t trade comfort for change. Be willing to let go of the comfort of the familiar (crappy job, bad relationship) for change. The ability to let go of toxic comfort quickly determines success.


 

33) Don’t try to be too perfect. That energy takes away from creative energy I need.


 

34) Embrace my fears fully. “Hug the Monster”.


 

35) Face your fear and the death of fear is near.


 

36) Fill my life with sensual pleasures of all kind.


 

37) God is in the uncertainty.


 

38) Hard work is only hard work if it has no meaning.


 

39) Ask how would I live my life if nobody ever told me how to live my life?


 

40) I can do a lot if I just look past the fear and see what’s on the other side.


 

41) I need to be open to all possibilities. Be open to other possible realities.


 

42) In any endeavor he who loves it the most usually wins.


 

43) In order to get something I first need it to feel natural.


 

44) It’s easier to avoid trouble than get out of it.


 

45) Key to life is to learn to be comfortable in the uncertainty of life.


 

46) Leaders need to know when to become followers, and followers need to know when to become leaders.


 

47) Live everyday like I just started over; be free and feel excited about trying new things.


 

48) Make eye contact with everyone especially people of authority.


 

49) Never be afraid to die because you’re born to die.


 

50) Never try to impress other people by imitating them, it just creates a weaker version of them and they will hate you since it represents their insecurities.


 

51) Nothing great ever comes into the world without enthusiasm.


 

52) People who are great always take the blame and know why things went wrong when they do. Average people lay blame. Always have a good idea and a plan and look honestly why a plan might not have worked.


 

53) People who are successful have a clear vision on what they need to do and can picture themselves doing it even if they have never done it before. Do the same.


 

54) Push myself hard and then tell myself I am the best.


 

55) Push myself outside my comfort zone each day.


 

56) Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.


 

57) Relive each day and see what I would have done differently and replay the good version in my mind.


 

58) Resist Nothing.


 

59) See myself as the best person I want to become and commit to it fully.


 

60) Seek enthusiasm and passion for life.


 

61) Studies show that people perform better when relaxed. So try staying relaxed in stressful situations.


 

62) Surround myself with beauty.


 

63) Surround myself with people better than me and role models.


 

64) Take what I want to happen and in detail write in out to make in happen that way.


 

65) The abundance of things I receive is normal. It’s the way things should be.


 

66) The best predictor of success is optimism. Always focus on being optimistic.


 

67) The big stuff is just as easy to manifest as the small stuff. It’s all in feeling worthy of it.


 

68) The key to life is to lose larger and larger battles. It means I am learning.


 

69) The most dangerous circumstance is getting comfortable cheating a little, since it leads to big cheats.


 

70) The only thing that keeps me from getting anything I want is the story I tell myself about it.


 

71) The secret to life is not to take your life personally.


 

72) The voice that I talk to myself in my head determines my mood. So use calm positive voice.


 

73) There are no good or bad people only teachers.


 

74) There’s nobody here to save me. To get what I want I have to go out and get it myself.


 

75) Thinking you are the shit or a piece of shit, takes the same amount of ego energy.


 

76) To be a leader, strive for excellence have a vision be more passionate and be willing to take on the worst jobs.


 

77) To be good at anything you can’t rely on what you did in the past. You can never look back. Don’t get attached to the past.


 

78) To be great at something you must be clear and view it as something playful and fun with no negative thoughts.


 

79) To decide if I should do something distract myself and then think of the problem again and go with the gut instinct at that time. Scientists found this is the most accurate way to come to a correct decision.


 

80) To feel like I own the room. Walk in and pretend to touch all 4 walls with my hands. Breathe in the space.


 

81) To get something, picture it clearly in your mind while smiling and meditate on it.


 

82) To go anywhere first I have to be most brutally honest about my current situation because then I will improve.


 

83) To have a great life assume that everyone you meet is your friend and wants only the best for you.


 

84) To overcome fear of something, act like you are not afraid of it and soon it will be so.


 

85) Try new ways of thinking about what I want to improve. I can always go back to the old ways of thinking if it does not work out.


 

86) We are what we think. Think positive things.


 

87) Whatever I am lacking, write how grateful I am about it and that others have it.


 

88) Whatever I focus on will grow, focus on positive things.


 

89) When arguing appeal to interest not logic.


 

90) Whenever I gossip I pull myself down not the other person. If I catch myself gossiping always end with something positive to say about that person.


 

91) Whenever I am trying something scary. Stay with it until the fear and anxiety is reduced at least by half.


 

92) When someone gets what I want be happy for them. That’s the only way to get it.


 

93) When talking to a stranger, be positive in describing anyone, they will then assign those qualities to you.


 

94) Write down all things that hold me back.


 

95) Write down things that I want in personal terms and read it when I wake up and when I go to sleep.


 

96) You can always push yourself to do more. If someone else was pushing me (coach) I would do a lot more. Be that coach to myself.


 

97) You can only learn from a mistake you admit.


 

98) You can only take on a strong position when you can argue for the opposite of what you believe better than the person who supports that idea.


 

99) You have to be willing to get to the truth so badly that you are willing to humiliate yourself to get it.


 

100) You need to be able to give up freely the thing you want the most.


 

101) You only start living when you lose the fear of dying.


 

Michael Page

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The Matrix is Scary: Why Men Learning to Become Great With Women Will Never Be Fully Accepted In Our Society

There’s no obstacles that you have to jump
There’s no walls that you have to climb
This is real, this is elementary dear
Elementary, Watson, Elementary “ – ODB “Nowhere to Run

http://www.lifelovesexandmoney.com/wp-content/uploads/ladder.jpg

(Photo: Digo_Souza)

Knowledge is an interesting thing. It seems that the most important things you need to know for a happy life you need to figure out on your own and are never taught in school.

I took wood shop in high school it was mandatory. I built a wine rack and a bird house. The wine rack is still collecting dust somewhere in my mom’s basement and I am not sure what happened to my bird house which came out looking like something Frank Gehry built after a weekend bender. If any bird was actually brave enough to inhabit my birdhouse I am sure they could have sued me for multiple safety code violations. I never picked up a wood chisel again and most likely never will. I think back at all the useless classes I took in middle school and high school (home economics, sewing, metal shop) so much wasted time, so much useless information. Yet one of the most important things in life I needed to learn for happiness and success was never taught to me. It was how to be good with the opposite sex, make friends and be social. Learning those things not only would have prevented my childhood from being emotionally scarring but also would have led to more love and self acceptance.

Unfortunately, I had to figure those things out on my own much later.

Out of all the things I have tried and achieved in life, none of them have helped me grow as much as becoming good with women. I am not saying that my life improved because I was able to get laid more, I am saying becoming good with women has helped me build my confidence. It helped more than anything else I’ve tried and has greatly improved my relationships in business and family and led to self acceptance. I am a MUCH better human being because of it.

I have talked to many men who took the same path that I did later in life and all swear that becoming good with the opposite sex was the one thing that helped them improve all aspects of their lives. Yet for some reason I have always felt awkward sharing this information even though I think it’s one of the most valuable pieces of advice I can give. I am not the only one, most guys I have talked to feel the same way. It’s not that they refuse to acknowledge that information it’s just that they feel there is some stigma attached to it and they would rather not volunteer it. Why is that? Why would a piece of information that can be so beneficial be so scary to discuss in public? Why is it so taboo to say that becoming good with women is a skill that can be learned? It’s no different than learning to ride a bike. Why does saying “I learned to be good with women and so can you” seem somehow dirty?

There is some belief in our culture which says that learning to have abundance with women is bad. It’s not that sleeping with a lot of women is bad, since we celebrate movie stars and rock stars who lead decadent lifestyles. But somehow going from a loser to someone who is desired by women does have a negative stigma attached to it. The notion of a man going from being a total nerd to becoming desired by many women is always depicted as a comical caricature only involving him becoming either rich, famous or building a great physique.

Let me give you an example.

Picture Walt. Walt is thirty six years old. He lives in a small studio apartment is 20 pounds overweight and drives a fork lift at Costco for a living. Walt has tried online dating and has even been in a few short relationships over the last decade, but the number of sexual partners he has had can be counted on one hand. Walt decides to start a band and write a few songs. The songs becomes popular on YouTube, Walt gets a recording contract and starts touring, his band starts playing larger and larger venues. Walt is now rich and famous, has his own plane and travels the world playing sold out shows and having sex with multiple women on a regular basis. Walt is a star and women want to have sex with him backstage after every show.

Now let’s try scenario number two.

Picture Walt. Walt is thirty six years old. He lives in a small studio apartment is 20 pounds overweight and drives a fork lift at Costco for a living. Walt has tried online dating and has even been in a few short relationships over the last decade, but the number of sexual partners he has had can be counted on one hand. Walt decides he has had enough, so he takes a workshop to learn how to be good with women. He learns how to talk to women, how to be more interesting and how to make women feel special. Walt still drives a fork lift at Costco lives in the same small studio apartment yet he is having sex with multiple women on a regular basis because he learned how to be sexually attractive to women.

Everyone can picture rock star Walt and why he is desired by women, yet the Costco Walt somehow seems phony. But why? Both Walts are highly desired by women, both get laid equally. Yet somehow as I paint that picture you assume that Costco Walt is somehow creepy or a phony and even if he is getting laid somehow he is tricking women into sleeping with him.

I have known a lot of “Costco Walts”. Those guys are out there. They are not the most attractive, they are not the richest but they learned how to make women feel special and how to make women want them. They get laid as often as “Rock star Walt”. Yet the notion that someone can learn to be great with women without “earning it” is still taboo in our culture. Having mobility on the sexual pecking order ladder is accepted as long as you accomplish something like becoming rich or famous, but climbing it on skill alone becomes somehow terrifying and wrong.

But why?

I’ve been thinking about this question for quite a while. Since I could not come up with any easy answer that jumped out at me, I assumed the answer must be a lot more primal, more obfuscated and more deeply and subconsciously engrained into our society. I have found that when it comes to sexuality, anytime you hit a roadblock the answer usually can be found by looking at evolution. I believe this is where this answer lies.

Throughout history for hundreds of thousands of years the sexual pecking order was set. The tribal leader was the one who was most desired by women, who had his pick of which woman he sleeps with. As you go further and further down the pecking order, less choices are available to those men. There were ways which you could make yourself more desirable and climb the ladder. You could slay a tiger or lion or be brave and heroic during a battle; all those things would make you more desirable to women. They would help you achieve more social status in the tribe. In other words, all those things involved “doing” something. The notion of just your average man at the bottom of the tribe’s pecking order seducing and becoming more sexually desirable to all the women in the tribe is not only foreign, it’s also dangerous and scary for everyone. Evolution of our species relies on the strongest and bravest men having sex with the healthiest and most beautiful women. The idea that someone can short circuit this unspoken rule without accomplishing anything and trick the system goes against what nature intended.

There are a few more reasons why it is frightening to know that being sexually desirable is a skill that can be learned. It is scary to women, because sexual power is a unique power that women have in our society. A woman knows that her looks play an important part of navigating through life. For women to have that power men must feel scarcity. If every man can get laid as easily as a woman that power goes out the window. Talk to any woman who is considered attractive in her small home town who comes to a place like L.A. or Miami which is full of beautiful women and you will understand.

But men are equally as guilty about being afraid to see the truth. For a man to know that he can learn to become great with women without accomplishing something means admitting that the treadmill of life he has been on has been waste of time. It’s one thing to think that you are not getting laid because you are not successful enough or don’t drive the right car because all those things can be fixed IN THE FUTURE. Once you have the money you can get the right car, once you reach fame women will want you, once you have more money you can get hair plugs and hire a personal trainer. Everything is safe as long as it’s in the future and you have an excuse. Once you realize that all those things are not nearly as important, you have to admit that YOU are the only reason why women are not attracted to you. It is not because of something you have yet to accomplish or posses. That realization is very scary. I won’t even go into why married men don’t want to know this.

Finally, corporate America does not want anyone to know that the sexual pecking order ladder can be cheaply traversed. How many billions of dollars are made each year by preying on men’s sexual scarcity? How many cars, beers, deodorants, fitness equipment and gym memberships are sold each day by making millions of men feel that if they just bought the right product they will be more sexually desirable to women? What if tomorrow men learned that you can skip the middle man and learn to attract women without opening up their wallet?

The reason teaching men to become great with women will always come across as manipulative is because it involves teaching men to act as if they are much further up the sexual pecking order ladder without actually earning it by societal standards. And this is dangerous.

But we are no longer living in caveman times, we no longer need to slay a lion or kill men in battle in order to be able to rise up the sexual ladder, we can climb it by redoing ourselves from within and earning our spot just the same. But that is all very foreign and very new.

This is why the notion of men learning to become great with women will never be fully accepted in our society and it will always come across slightly creepy when being discussed and will always remain mostly underground. This is why seeing through the Matrix of how the world really is and can be will always be scary to the masses.

Michael Page

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Seeing Through the Matrix – The Difference Between What You Think You Want And What You Truly Want.

You can’t always get what you want” – Rolling Stones


(Photo: Stuck in Customs)

One of the most important underlying points of my writings is the idea that to be successful, you have to view the world and yourself differently. You need to be able to see through the matrix. In other words, if you think like everyone else, you will get the results of everyone else. To get extraordinary results, you need to think differently and only after that, everything else will follow.

The Law of Attraction says that “like attracts like.” If you think positively, you will get positive results; if you think negatively, you will get negative results. Many people mistake that to mean that the universe is there to give them that which they desire. I have not found that to be totally true. I have found that the universe is not there to give you what you desire, but instead is there to give you what you desire, but can at the same time handle.

Let’s take the two areas that I have had abundance in: women and money. If you ask a typical man to list out what things they desire most, I can almost guarantee that women and money would be somewhere in the top five. But if that is the case, why is the law of attraction not working in their favor? Why are most people living in scarcity, not abundance when it comes to their dating life and money? The answer is that the Law of Attraction IS working, but it is giving them what they truly desire and what would make them happy, not what they think they desire and what they think would make them happy.

Let’s take women, for example. If you ask a typical guy if he would want to date a swimsuit model, almost all will say “yes.” But the truth of the matter is that the true answer is NO. An average guy would not be able to date a woman who is too far out of his league. And by league, I do not mean looks, I mean personal and sexual confidence. When an average guy dates a truly beautiful woman, even if the woman is really into him, he eventually finds a way to sabotage the relationship. The guy usually starts getting jealous and becomes more and more controlling till the relationship disintegrates. I have seen this over and over and over again. So when the average guy says he wants to date a truly beautiful woman, the fact is that subconsciously he does not. What he truly wants and what he thinks he wants are two completely different things.

Let’s look at money. Everyone says they want to be rich, but is that the truth? The answer again is NO.

Let’s look at lotto winners. If you asked every single lotto winner before they hit the jackpot if they wanted to be rich, I can guarantee that 100 percent of them would have said “yes.” Yet almost 70 percent of lotto winners will go broke [1] after they become rich. Why does this happen? It happens because when people who don’t have a prosperity consciousness come into large amount of money, they tend to get rid of it quickly because subconsciously they feel more comfortable and happier being poor. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but the stats do not lie. What they truly want and what they think they want are two completely different things.

So if you live in scarcity and feel that you want to be rich and date beautiful women, the truth of the matter is that you subconsciously probably don’t, else you would already have it. If both of those things fell into your lap tomorrow, there’s a very large chance that you would find a way to sabotage it and be right back where you are now. But that is what is so great about how the universe works. The universe is really there to serve you. It gives you what you truly want, not what you think you want. And what’s even better is that to get what you want in life, the most important thing that is required of you is for you to change your thinking.

You need to feel deserving of the things you truly want and make them the things you want. The quicker you can align what you truly want and what you want, the quicker they will come into your life. The quicker you can get rid of any negative connotations you might have, no matter how small towards that which you want, the quicker you will have it.

For me, affirmations and visualizations are the best way I found to make that happen, and I attribute the majority of my success to it. I will have more to say on affirmations and visualizations in later articles.

In life, you probably won’t get what you want, but you will get what you truly want, feel deserving of and can handle, and it will usually come with very little effort.

Change your thinking, and everything will fall into place. Start seeing through the matrix.

Michael Page


Reference:

1. Financial planners: Winning the lottery isn’t always a dream

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The Difference Between Good and Great – Seeing through the Matrix

“Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that’s your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life ” – Tyler Durden, Fight Club

(Photo: Eneas)

Becoming rich for me was a lot easier than learning to become more social or making myself more attractive to women. But pretty quickly, I started to see striking similarities in the formula about becoming great with both. If you are great in any one area, you can be great in another. And if you are great in neither, you can become great in both, since the formula is the same. You just need to see the world in a way that most people do not. You just need to be able to see through the matrix.

If you can emulate what successful people do, you will be good; if you emulate how successful people think, you will be great.

So who is Great?

One thing I learned along my journey is that the people who I once thought were rich or great with women turned out to be completely different people, once I became rich and good with women. People tend to create their heroes based on their prism of reality. Once my reality changed, I soon started to see the vast difference between who I thought was great and who really is great.

For example, if we went into a restaurant or a party and I asked a typical person to pick out who the richest man in the crowd was, most would pick out the man who was the best dressed, who had the nicest watch, or had the nicest car. That’s the typical thinking of most people who do not have prosperity consciousness. To me, the guy with the best watch or best suit is an amateur. It usually is the person who wants everyone to believe he is rich. People like that tend to make decent money, but also spend a great deal of it keeping the illusion going. They are usually only one or two paychecks away from losing everything. That is not true wealth, that is what a poor man thinks a rich man should look and act like. The really rich person is the one who most will never spot in the room. It’s the person who wears average clothes, drives an average car, and has nothing to prove to the world or you. If you tend to think I am wrong, read The Millionaire Next Door, which profiles the typical millionaire and his or her lifestyle. You will find that most millionaires (especially self-made ones) are usually never easy to pick out from the crowd, and they never flaunt their money.

For example, if you did not know any better, who would you think is wealthier.

This guy?

(Photo: Bondidwhat?)

Or any of these guys?

(Photo:Joi’s)

The person in the top picture is most likely rich, but I am pretty certain that his wealth is probably not even one thousandth of the people above.

The same holds true for men who are really good with women. If you ask a typical man to pick out who in the crowd is best with women, they will usually pick out either the best-looking guy or the richest. In reality, the man who is great with women is not the best-looking one and almost never the richest. It is the guy who a typical man would never suspect. It is the guy who’s not trying at all; it’s the guy who has sexual confidence, who knows he can have whatever he wants but never seems like he is trying. These guys usually go completely under the radar of a typical man. As a matter of fact, the only people who can spot them are women; other guys are great with women and gay men who tend to be a lot more sexually aware. But to an average man, they are just another face in the crowd.

Here are the basic differences between people who are good and those who are great. As you can see the similarities are striking.

Trait

People who have slight or no abundance with money

People who have true abundance with money

People who have slight or no abundance with women

People who have true abundance with women

How do they talk? Tend to tell you how great their business is or what new item they purchased. Tend to talk more about how they are doing compared to what they are doing. Rarely talk about their success or wealth. Tend to talk about who they had sex with and about their love life more than the average person. Rarely if ever discuss their love life or success with women.
What does an average person see when they see them? A successful rich person. A confident, but average person. An outgoing confident guy who is either good-looking or rich. A confident, but average person.
How do they view prosperity and abundance? Something that they can talk about and show off. Reaffirms and keeps the illusion going. Just another thing that is expected. Something they can talk about to their friends. Reaffirms and keeps the illusion going. Just another thing that is expected.
More likely to lie about? More likely to lie about his wealth, what he is doing, and how successful he is. More likely to lie and underplay his wealth, what he is doing and his successes. More likely to tell you he had sex with someone, even if he did not. More likely to tell you that he did not have sex with someone, even if he did.

 

So moving forward, realize that people you might have been looking up to are not nearly as good as you think they are. For the most part, most people who are truly great are much easier to spot by other people who are very good in that area, but might appear completely average to a typical person. As you become better, you will start to see the difference between the good and the great a lot clearer.

Don’t model yourself after the good; model yourself after the great. And don’t worry about emulating what they do; that is not nearly as important as emulating how they think.

 Michael Page

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