“Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that’s your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life ” – Tyler Durden, Fight Club
Becoming rich for me was a lot easier than learning to become more social or making myself more attractive to women. But pretty quickly, I started to see striking similarities in the formula about becoming great with both. If you are great in any one area, you can be great in another. And if you are great in neither, you can become great in both, since the formula is the same. You just need to see the world in a way that most people do not. You just need to be able to see through the matrix.
If you can emulate what successful people do, you will be good; if you emulate how successful people think, you will be great.
So who is Great?
One thing I learned along my journey is that the people who I once thought were rich or great with women turned out to be completely different people, once I became rich and good with women. People tend to create their heroes based on their prism of reality. Once my reality changed, I soon started to see the vast difference between who I thought was great and who really is great.
For example, if we went into a restaurant or a party and I asked a typical person to pick out who the richest man in the crowd was, most would pick out the man who was the best dressed, who had the nicest watch, or had the nicest car. That’s the typical thinking of most people who do not have prosperity consciousness. To me, the guy with the best watch or best suit is an amateur. It usually is the person who wants everyone to believe he is rich. People like that tend to make decent money, but also spend a great deal of it keeping the illusion going. They are usually only one or two paychecks away from losing everything. That is not true wealth, that is what a poor man thinks a rich man should look and act like. The really rich person is the one who most will never spot in the room. It’s the person who wears average clothes, drives an average car, and has nothing to prove to the world or you. If you tend to think I am wrong, read The Millionaire Next Door, which profiles the typical millionaire and his or her lifestyle. You will find that most millionaires (especially self-made ones) are usually never easy to pick out from the crowd, and they never flaunt their money.
For example, if you did not know any better, who would you think is wealthier.
Or any of these guys?
The person in the top picture is most likely rich, but I am pretty certain that his wealth is probably not even one thousandth of the people above.
The same holds true for men who are really good with women. If you ask a typical man to pick out who in the crowd is best with women, they will usually pick out either the best-looking guy or the richest. In reality, the man who is great with women is not the best-looking one and almost never the richest. It is the guy who a typical man would never suspect. It is the guy who’s not trying at all; it’s the guy who has sexual confidence, who knows he can have whatever he wants but never seems like he is trying. These guys usually go completely under the radar of a typical man. As a matter of fact, the only people who can spot them are women; other guys are great with women and gay men who tend to be a lot more sexually aware. But to an average man, they are just another face in the crowd.
Here are the basic differences between people who are good and those who are great. As you can see the similarities are striking.
People who have slight or no abundance with money
People who have true abundance with money
People who have slight or no abundance with women
People who have true abundance with women
|How do they talk?||Tend to tell you how great their business is or what new item they purchased. Tend to talk more about how they are doing compared to what they are doing.||Rarely talk about their success or wealth.||Tend to talk about who they had sex with and about their love life more than the average person.||Rarely if ever discuss their love life or success with women.|
|What does an average person see when they see them?||A successful rich person.||A confident, but average person.||An outgoing confident guy who is either good-looking or rich.||A confident, but average person.|
|How do they view prosperity and abundance?||Something that they can talk about and show off. Reaffirms and keeps the illusion going.||Just another thing that is expected.||Something they can talk about to their friends. Reaffirms and keeps the illusion going.||Just another thing that is expected.|
|More likely to lie about?||More likely to lie about his wealth, what he is doing, and how successful he is.||More likely to lie and underplay his wealth, what he is doing and his successes.||More likely to tell you he had sex with someone, even if he did not.||More likely to tell you that he did not have sex with someone, even if he did.|
So moving forward, realize that people you might have been looking up to are not nearly as good as you think they are. For the most part, most people who are truly great are much easier to spot by other people who are very good in that area, but might appear completely average to a typical person. As you become better, you will start to see the difference between the good and the great a lot clearer.
Don’t model yourself after the good; model yourself after the great. And don’t worry about emulating what they do; that is not nearly as important as emulating how they think.